Post by billy on Oct 22, 2005 15:33:11 GMT -5
INT. HOUSE-DAY
In a broken down dingy living room 7 YR old LUCAS SHECKLES, a blue eyed
blonde boy in an Evel Knievel costume sits eating sofa stuffing.
DOORBELL
He crosses his eyes and eats more.
EXT.HOUSE-DAY.
On the porch REVEREND SCHULLER, a short, round man in black clothes.
Lucas opens the door.
REV. SCHULLER
Merrrrry Christmas!
LUCAS
Your face reminds me of sh*t.
He slams the door.
INT.KITCHEN-DAY.
MARTHA COOPER (50),a foster parent in a brown wig and bad sweater pours Schuller coffee.
A ball zips by- GLASS BREAKS- A CAT runs.
Lucas enters with a psychotic sneer.
MARTHA
Soooo, how doo-ya like the sweater
Reverend Shooler gimme?
LUCAS
Looks like something Picasso
wiped his ass with! Nice wig though!
Lucas laughs.
From the basement: IRON HITS CONCRETE–CAT SCREECHES.
LUCAS
(excited-delighted)
The firepoker burnt a hole through the floor!
INT.CAR-DAY.
Lucas watches Schuller as they drive along.
REV. SCHULLER
Well, burying a cat IS important,
but so is tradition.
Lucas rolls his eyes, spits on the car floor then turns around.
His POV: Wrapped gift-boxes in the backseat. He looks to Schuller.
LUCAS
I bet the doctor drank pus the day you were born
(beat)
then killed himself!
Schuller doesn’t take his eyes from the road.
REV. SCHULLER
You know son, it’s an honor to be
the last orphan, don’t forget not
every boy has the opportunity.
Lucas now sits in the backseat among open presents.
LUCAS
Yeah it’s a real dream come true,
now let ME DRIVE a-hole!
Lucas blows into a wrapping paper tube like a fog horn in Schuller's ear.
EXT.CAR-DAY INTERCUT INT.CAR-DAY
The car spins out of control. Lucas laughs.
The car spins out of control. Lucas laughs harder.
The car spins out of control. Lucas’s eyes go wide.
EXT.STREET-DAY
The car sits smashed into a pole.
Schuller, with a handkerchief held to his head leans on the fender.
A snowball hits him in the face.
LUCAS (O.C.)
I put a little surprise in that one.
EXT.STREET-DAY.
Lucas and the Reverend march up the street.
REV. SCHULLER
I’d like to tell you a pretty-amazing
little story Luke.
LUCAS
Yeah? I’d like to tell you
your breath is like the last fart
before a dying bum craps!
REV.SCHULLER
In the beginning you see,
God said,“Let there be..
EXT.STREET-DAY.
Schuller walks along.
REV. SCHULLER
..which concludes the book of
Revelations. It’s really something isn’t it?
He notices Lucas absent and turns.
A few steps back Lucas farmer blows his nose.
LUCAS
Santa got the clap from your mom .
EXT STREET-DAY.
Schuller and Lucas walk past a movie theater. On the marquee: They Lick Dog Puke
LUCAS
They lick dog puke!?
Holy Fuck!
The Reverend looks at the marquee then smiles weakly.
REV. SCHULLER
Yes, well come along now or we’ll be late.
Lucas scowls and reluctantly follows.
LUCAS
I CAN NOT WAIT to push you down stairs!
INT. HIGH RISE (CONFERENCE OFFICE)-DAY
Schuller sits at a table with BUSINESS MEN and A TRANSLATOR. Lucas parades up and back on the table.
The Translator bows slightly to one of men, then turns to Schuller with a contract.
TRANSLATOR
Mr. Scam-a-wazi says all
that is needed now is a signature
and we shall see you again at 5 pm.
REV.SCHULLER
And the check will clear? I mean..
(laughs)
Okay. Lucas, sonnnn, can you
make your mark here please?
Lucas walks over and stops above Schuller.
REV.SCHULLER
These nice strangers are going
to let you play with some toys today,
then Friday we can go to the movies.
How’s that sound?
A ZIPPER. A stream of liquid hits the contract.
INT. HIGH RISE (TOY DEVELOPMENT DEPARTMENT)-DAY
A workbench with a black board, computer, toys and tools.
Lucas beats the corpse of a doll with a hammer, he sneezes.
In the corner a MAN IN LAB COAT lays in tears.
Lucas runs to him with the batered toy and pulls it's string.
GODZILLA SCREECH from the doll, the Man's eye go wide, he nods excited.
INT.FACTORY-DAY INTERCUT INT.TOY DELEVOPMENT DEPARTMENT-DAY
Boxes with the Scamawazi logo zip by on a conveyer belt.
Lucas laughs, then smashes the doll on the Man’s head and laughs more.
INT.MARTHA’S HOUSE (BROKEN DOWN LIVING ROOM)-DAY
Lucas, in pajamas sits with a thermometer in his mouth.
DOC GRISHERN, a bald older man returns a stethoscope to his medicine bag.
DOC GRISHERN
Don’t you worry now, we’ll have you
right as rain for X-mas young man.
Lucas spits the thermometer at him.
LUCAS
I 'm gonna smack the piss out of you!
Grishern turns to Schuller and Martha at the door.
DOC GRISHERN
Well, looks like we got ourselves a
winner, he’s the Anti-Christ all right.
Martha pops a champagne cork.
MARTHA COOPER
Woo!
INT. LITTLE GIRL’S BEDROOM (COMMERCIAL)-DAY
Music– A bubbly enthusiastic FEMALE ANNOUNCER.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
It’s "Corrupt me I’m Sally!"
A little blonde girl holds up a doll and smiles excited.
LITTLE BLONDE GIRL
Sally can say "-BEEP– the law!!"
FEMALE ANNOUNCER (V.O)
HeHe -and a whole lot more!
LITTLE BLONDE GIRL
I love you Corrupt me I’m Sally.
The girl hugs Sally. GODZILLA SCREECH.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Scamawazi toys. HeHe -buy’em or die mother -BEEP- er!
INT. THE SMITH RESIDENCE-DAY
THE SMITH TWINS (7) look from the TV TOY AD to each other.
THE SMITH TWINS
Mommm!!!!
EXT.STREET (ACROSS FROM TOY STORE)-DAY
Reporter DIXIE CARLSON (30’s), a tall blonde with a mic.
DIXIE CARLSON
..still inside with the rifle
told police she will NOT
come out without a fight, or
THAT DOLL, this just minutes after the
commercial was aired earlier today.
A OMINOUS BELL TOLLS
SLEIGH BELLS JINGLE
X-MAS MORNING MUSICAL SEQUENCE: “Jingle Bells”
1. INT.WHEELER HOME-DAY
THE WHEELER’S have breakfast, Patty runs in with a Sally.
PATTY WHEELER
Your mom’s got hair on her balls!
2.INT.SMITH HOME-DAY
The Smith Twins play with Sally dolls.
SMITH TWIN #1
Lets build a fire!
SMITH TWIN #2
How about a meth lab!?
They giggle.
SMITH TWINS
We can do both!
3. INT.DAVIS HOME-DAY
GRANDMA bandages WENDY’S head.
WENDY
Sally tol me do the lobotomy Grandma.
4.INT. THE MARTIN HOME-DAY
SHERRY MARTIN and her Sally have the PARENTS cornered.
SHERRY
I WANT THAT PIN NUMBERRRR!
5. INT.THE BROWN HOME-DAY
UNCLE JOE clutches his heart, JOY holds a Sally.
JOY
(laughs)
What pills?
6. INT. THE OLD ERMINE SHACK-DAY
PAPPY ERMINE enters, removes his hat, gives SARA a box.
PAPPY ERMINE
Yer Maw’n me’n Skip, Cooter, the OTHER SKIP,
Butch, Sheronda, her sister n’law Charlotte,
Eddie, Dwayne, T-Bone, Jerri, Their Cousin
and his Brother’s 3 Kids, well..
We all saved up fer the whole year,
and a’course I had to kill a goat or
whatever that was just to get it gift wrapped,
but anyways, merry Christmas Sara.
Sara unwraps a Sally doll and pulls it’s string.
7..EXT. THE OLD ERMINE SHACK-DAY.
The shack explodes.
INT. MARTHA’S HOUSE-DAY
Martha sits duct taped to a chair in a ring of fire.
Lucas squirts charcoal starter on the flames.
LUCAS
I should rape you with the cat,
then drink your brain fluid!
MARTHA
Myyyy, aren’t we cranky this morning Mr. Ho Hum.
He squirts he in the face with the gas.
DOORBELL- Lucas looks at the door, it opens. Schuller enters.
MARTHA
Oh Reverend Shooler what a surprise,
kin ya go ahead and unwrap me?
REV.SCHULLER
Nooo, I’m afraid I can’t do that Martha.
Squirt some on the drapes Lucas, then get your coat,
we can’t be late for the show.
EXT.STREET-DAY
Schuller walks along through the snow.
A sickly demonic Lucas follows two steps behind.
REV.SCHULLER
Over all, I’d say it was a pretty
good season truth be told.
LUCAS
The Vatican funded the
Exorcist you c***sucker!
Schuller looks down at him.
REV.SCHULLER
We all have an agenda Son.
Schuller smiles faintly.
REV.SCHULLER
I wonder what the film will be,
I do hope it's something appropriate.
Lucas stomps an OLD MAN'S DOG.
LUCAS
It better be They lick dog puke
or I’m gonna rip a hole in this world and F**k it!
REV.SCHULLER
Agenda’s and choices Lucas
agenda’s and choices.
EXT.STREET(JUST OUTSIDE THEATER)-DAY
An USHER stands on a ladder which leads up to the marquee.
Schuller and Lucas approach, the doors burst open, they enter.
INT. THEATER (BALCONY)-DAY
Lucas and Schuller sit side by side, ON SCREEN: “Let’s all go to the lobby.”
Schuller leans over.
REV.SCHULLER
Would you like some popcorn Luke?
LUCAS
BRING ME THE WHOLE STAND
OR I’LL DIG UP YOUR MOTHER
AND KILL HER AGAIN!
Schuller makes the sign of the cross over his chest.
REV.SCHULLER
Very well then, I’ll be back.
Schuller stands.
LUCAS
See ya next year!
Lucas pushes Schuller down the balcony steps, ON SCREEN: “Our Feature presentation.”
EXT.STREET (JUST OUTSIDE THEATER)-DAY
The Usher climbs down the ladder.
The Theater MANAGER approaches.
USHER
So the church rents out the whole joint every
year and jazzes up the sign, so what?
MANAGER
Well it’s a holiday tradition Bobby.
USHER
As long as I’M getting’ paid -whatever!
On the marquee: They pick god luke.
FADE OUT:
THE END
TITLE: FOR WHOM THE JINGLE BELL TOLLS
BUDGET: Low
GENRE: X-mas Horror
FORMAT: Short
LOCATIONS: 15 INT. + 10 EXT.
TOTAL ROLES: 17 Speaking + 10 Non
CREDITS: Conceived & Written by B. Furnett 2005
-Billy-
In a broken down dingy living room 7 YR old LUCAS SHECKLES, a blue eyed
blonde boy in an Evel Knievel costume sits eating sofa stuffing.
DOORBELL
He crosses his eyes and eats more.
EXT.HOUSE-DAY.
On the porch REVEREND SCHULLER, a short, round man in black clothes.
Lucas opens the door.
REV. SCHULLER
Merrrrry Christmas!
LUCAS
Your face reminds me of sh*t.
He slams the door.
INT.KITCHEN-DAY.
MARTHA COOPER (50),a foster parent in a brown wig and bad sweater pours Schuller coffee.
A ball zips by- GLASS BREAKS- A CAT runs.
Lucas enters with a psychotic sneer.
MARTHA
Soooo, how doo-ya like the sweater
Reverend Shooler gimme?
LUCAS
Looks like something Picasso
wiped his ass with! Nice wig though!
Lucas laughs.
From the basement: IRON HITS CONCRETE–CAT SCREECHES.
LUCAS
(excited-delighted)
The firepoker burnt a hole through the floor!
INT.CAR-DAY.
Lucas watches Schuller as they drive along.
REV. SCHULLER
Well, burying a cat IS important,
but so is tradition.
Lucas rolls his eyes, spits on the car floor then turns around.
His POV: Wrapped gift-boxes in the backseat. He looks to Schuller.
LUCAS
I bet the doctor drank pus the day you were born
(beat)
then killed himself!
Schuller doesn’t take his eyes from the road.
REV. SCHULLER
You know son, it’s an honor to be
the last orphan, don’t forget not
every boy has the opportunity.
Lucas now sits in the backseat among open presents.
LUCAS
Yeah it’s a real dream come true,
now let ME DRIVE a-hole!
Lucas blows into a wrapping paper tube like a fog horn in Schuller's ear.
EXT.CAR-DAY INTERCUT INT.CAR-DAY
The car spins out of control. Lucas laughs.
The car spins out of control. Lucas laughs harder.
The car spins out of control. Lucas’s eyes go wide.
EXT.STREET-DAY
The car sits smashed into a pole.
Schuller, with a handkerchief held to his head leans on the fender.
A snowball hits him in the face.
LUCAS (O.C.)
I put a little surprise in that one.
EXT.STREET-DAY.
Lucas and the Reverend march up the street.
REV. SCHULLER
I’d like to tell you a pretty-amazing
little story Luke.
LUCAS
Yeah? I’d like to tell you
your breath is like the last fart
before a dying bum craps!
REV.SCHULLER
In the beginning you see,
God said,“Let there be..
EXT.STREET-DAY.
Schuller walks along.
REV. SCHULLER
..which concludes the book of
Revelations. It’s really something isn’t it?
He notices Lucas absent and turns.
A few steps back Lucas farmer blows his nose.
LUCAS
Santa got the clap from your mom .
EXT STREET-DAY.
Schuller and Lucas walk past a movie theater. On the marquee: They Lick Dog Puke
LUCAS
They lick dog puke!?
Holy Fuck!
The Reverend looks at the marquee then smiles weakly.
REV. SCHULLER
Yes, well come along now or we’ll be late.
Lucas scowls and reluctantly follows.
LUCAS
I CAN NOT WAIT to push you down stairs!
INT. HIGH RISE (CONFERENCE OFFICE)-DAY
Schuller sits at a table with BUSINESS MEN and A TRANSLATOR. Lucas parades up and back on the table.
The Translator bows slightly to one of men, then turns to Schuller with a contract.
TRANSLATOR
Mr. Scam-a-wazi says all
that is needed now is a signature
and we shall see you again at 5 pm.
REV.SCHULLER
And the check will clear? I mean..
(laughs)
Okay. Lucas, sonnnn, can you
make your mark here please?
Lucas walks over and stops above Schuller.
REV.SCHULLER
These nice strangers are going
to let you play with some toys today,
then Friday we can go to the movies.
How’s that sound?
A ZIPPER. A stream of liquid hits the contract.
INT. HIGH RISE (TOY DEVELOPMENT DEPARTMENT)-DAY
A workbench with a black board, computer, toys and tools.
Lucas beats the corpse of a doll with a hammer, he sneezes.
In the corner a MAN IN LAB COAT lays in tears.
Lucas runs to him with the batered toy and pulls it's string.
GODZILLA SCREECH from the doll, the Man's eye go wide, he nods excited.
INT.FACTORY-DAY INTERCUT INT.TOY DELEVOPMENT DEPARTMENT-DAY
Boxes with the Scamawazi logo zip by on a conveyer belt.
Lucas laughs, then smashes the doll on the Man’s head and laughs more.
INT.MARTHA’S HOUSE (BROKEN DOWN LIVING ROOM)-DAY
Lucas, in pajamas sits with a thermometer in his mouth.
DOC GRISHERN, a bald older man returns a stethoscope to his medicine bag.
DOC GRISHERN
Don’t you worry now, we’ll have you
right as rain for X-mas young man.
Lucas spits the thermometer at him.
LUCAS
I 'm gonna smack the piss out of you!
Grishern turns to Schuller and Martha at the door.
DOC GRISHERN
Well, looks like we got ourselves a
winner, he’s the Anti-Christ all right.
Martha pops a champagne cork.
MARTHA COOPER
Woo!
INT. LITTLE GIRL’S BEDROOM (COMMERCIAL)-DAY
Music– A bubbly enthusiastic FEMALE ANNOUNCER.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
It’s "Corrupt me I’m Sally!"
A little blonde girl holds up a doll and smiles excited.
LITTLE BLONDE GIRL
Sally can say "-BEEP– the law!!"
FEMALE ANNOUNCER (V.O)
HeHe -and a whole lot more!
LITTLE BLONDE GIRL
I love you Corrupt me I’m Sally.
The girl hugs Sally. GODZILLA SCREECH.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Scamawazi toys. HeHe -buy’em or die mother -BEEP- er!
INT. THE SMITH RESIDENCE-DAY
THE SMITH TWINS (7) look from the TV TOY AD to each other.
THE SMITH TWINS
Mommm!!!!
EXT.STREET (ACROSS FROM TOY STORE)-DAY
Reporter DIXIE CARLSON (30’s), a tall blonde with a mic.
DIXIE CARLSON
..still inside with the rifle
told police she will NOT
come out without a fight, or
THAT DOLL, this just minutes after the
commercial was aired earlier today.
A OMINOUS BELL TOLLS
SLEIGH BELLS JINGLE
X-MAS MORNING MUSICAL SEQUENCE: “Jingle Bells”
1. INT.WHEELER HOME-DAY
THE WHEELER’S have breakfast, Patty runs in with a Sally.
PATTY WHEELER
Your mom’s got hair on her balls!
2.INT.SMITH HOME-DAY
The Smith Twins play with Sally dolls.
SMITH TWIN #1
Lets build a fire!
SMITH TWIN #2
How about a meth lab!?
They giggle.
SMITH TWINS
We can do both!
3. INT.DAVIS HOME-DAY
GRANDMA bandages WENDY’S head.
WENDY
Sally tol me do the lobotomy Grandma.
4.INT. THE MARTIN HOME-DAY
SHERRY MARTIN and her Sally have the PARENTS cornered.
SHERRY
I WANT THAT PIN NUMBERRRR!
5. INT.THE BROWN HOME-DAY
UNCLE JOE clutches his heart, JOY holds a Sally.
JOY
(laughs)
What pills?
6. INT. THE OLD ERMINE SHACK-DAY
PAPPY ERMINE enters, removes his hat, gives SARA a box.
PAPPY ERMINE
Yer Maw’n me’n Skip, Cooter, the OTHER SKIP,
Butch, Sheronda, her sister n’law Charlotte,
Eddie, Dwayne, T-Bone, Jerri, Their Cousin
and his Brother’s 3 Kids, well..
We all saved up fer the whole year,
and a’course I had to kill a goat or
whatever that was just to get it gift wrapped,
but anyways, merry Christmas Sara.
Sara unwraps a Sally doll and pulls it’s string.
7..EXT. THE OLD ERMINE SHACK-DAY.
The shack explodes.
INT. MARTHA’S HOUSE-DAY
Martha sits duct taped to a chair in a ring of fire.
Lucas squirts charcoal starter on the flames.
LUCAS
I should rape you with the cat,
then drink your brain fluid!
MARTHA
Myyyy, aren’t we cranky this morning Mr. Ho Hum.
He squirts he in the face with the gas.
DOORBELL- Lucas looks at the door, it opens. Schuller enters.
MARTHA
Oh Reverend Shooler what a surprise,
kin ya go ahead and unwrap me?
REV.SCHULLER
Nooo, I’m afraid I can’t do that Martha.
Squirt some on the drapes Lucas, then get your coat,
we can’t be late for the show.
EXT.STREET-DAY
Schuller walks along through the snow.
A sickly demonic Lucas follows two steps behind.
REV.SCHULLER
Over all, I’d say it was a pretty
good season truth be told.
LUCAS
The Vatican funded the
Exorcist you c***sucker!
Schuller looks down at him.
REV.SCHULLER
We all have an agenda Son.
Schuller smiles faintly.
REV.SCHULLER
I wonder what the film will be,
I do hope it's something appropriate.
Lucas stomps an OLD MAN'S DOG.
LUCAS
It better be They lick dog puke
or I’m gonna rip a hole in this world and F**k it!
REV.SCHULLER
Agenda’s and choices Lucas
agenda’s and choices.
EXT.STREET(JUST OUTSIDE THEATER)-DAY
An USHER stands on a ladder which leads up to the marquee.
Schuller and Lucas approach, the doors burst open, they enter.
INT. THEATER (BALCONY)-DAY
Lucas and Schuller sit side by side, ON SCREEN: “Let’s all go to the lobby.”
Schuller leans over.
REV.SCHULLER
Would you like some popcorn Luke?
LUCAS
BRING ME THE WHOLE STAND
OR I’LL DIG UP YOUR MOTHER
AND KILL HER AGAIN!
Schuller makes the sign of the cross over his chest.
REV.SCHULLER
Very well then, I’ll be back.
Schuller stands.
LUCAS
See ya next year!
Lucas pushes Schuller down the balcony steps, ON SCREEN: “Our Feature presentation.”
EXT.STREET (JUST OUTSIDE THEATER)-DAY
The Usher climbs down the ladder.
The Theater MANAGER approaches.
USHER
So the church rents out the whole joint every
year and jazzes up the sign, so what?
MANAGER
Well it’s a holiday tradition Bobby.
USHER
As long as I’M getting’ paid -whatever!
On the marquee: They pick god luke.
FADE OUT:
THE END
TITLE: FOR WHOM THE JINGLE BELL TOLLS
BUDGET: Low
GENRE: X-mas Horror
FORMAT: Short
LOCATIONS: 15 INT. + 10 EXT.
TOTAL ROLES: 17 Speaking + 10 Non
CREDITS: Conceived & Written by B. Furnett 2005
-Billy-